Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
