either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
