woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
