How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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