You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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