i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We smell like vodka and hangover
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