after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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