My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He shit in the fireplace
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
