We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
