The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
