ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
