His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
