my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Randomize
