Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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