she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Randomize
