i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
