im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
it glows. i had to have it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
