he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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