MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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