Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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