wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
