I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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