My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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