During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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