carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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