Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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