Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
