One girl and one boy is just not enough.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
