Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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