i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm both gender and math confused
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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