return my video game
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dick very happy bro
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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