2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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