Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
