so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
