D3 body, D1 cock
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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