I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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