If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
