so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize