while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize