ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
