her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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