she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
