she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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