I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
