Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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