Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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