I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Randomize
