You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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