So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
