you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
