Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
zippers are such a cool invention
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
