so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
