i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
