you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize