too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize