you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
