remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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