I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
my sisters under your porch take her home
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
