butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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