the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Sorry about my life...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
