i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's never too late to be topless.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
you never un-have a 4some
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
