but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
