You just made me feel so damn special
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
is it fun? or sober?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
