he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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