Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize