Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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