can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
