I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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