in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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