he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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