that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
