i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Pappa wants mamma naked
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I need moral support for this bender
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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