The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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