I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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