she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
