I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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