just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He felt like a one man threesome
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
